I wanted to pick up where I left off last time with the rest of the things I’ve learned during this pregnancy. We covered 1-8 last week and were wrapping up with 9-15.
9. Someone gave me some advice early on and said, “Let people give things to you. Baby items are expensive and you have no idea what your baby will like,” so I’ve been going with that. We’ve been blessed with so many hand-me-downs of baby goods from high chairs and pack ‘n plays to baby bath tubs and carriers – not to mention clothes. I don’t think I’d feel nearly as calm about Little Bit’s arrival if I didn’t know that all of the basics were covered. And it’s so easy to fall down a rabbit hole of reviews and forums trying to decide which baby item is the best or most necessary. I’ve been going with a “If it worked for them, it should work for me” mindset, so I’m not spending hours reading about which baby carrier is ACTUALLY the best.
10. Maternity Body Pillow is a must have. I wanted to put off buying one of these because they can be a bit pricy, but when I really needed to stop sleeping on my back and my back started to ach a bit from the weight redistribution, I broke down and bought one. It’s the best thing ever. I’m going to be kinda bummed when it’s not necessary anymore, but The Fellow and I will be happy to be able to snuggle to sleep again. It forms a pretty effective barrier between us, so now he just tries to fling his arm over it to me to rub my belly and hold me as we go to sleep.
11. Choosing baby names is hard. You may think you know what you want to name a future baby, but your spouse may just have something to say about that, and The Fellow certainly did. He also has the habit of being contradictory for the sake of being contradictory, so we’d mention a name, agree we’d like it; then two days later I’d bring it up and he’d hate it! Eventually I started writing the name down and having him (literally) sign off on it! We also decided to keep the name a secret. There are too many opinions and stories that people are inclined to share with you out there for us to have to start over from scratch looking for a name, and I LOVE the name we picked.
12. People have been generally wonderful about respecting our decision to go with a birth center. I’ve only had one unpleasant interaction where I was told I was stupid and didn’t know anything for choosing the type of birth we have planned. Largely, everyone has been supportive and inquisitive, and I feel so comfortable with the center. There has only been two times that I’ve cried during this pregnancy, and the first was while watching a hospital birth video. I have had so many terrible experiences with doctors. I’ve had my opinion ignored, been unable to find care, misdiagnosed, been told I could have a brain tumor, and had so many other issues that I knew that I needed to feel heard and safe during this process, and I didn’t trust a hospital to make me feel that way. (And Lord help whatever doctor who was ignoring his wife in pain with The Fellow in the Room. We’d probably have a whole slew of other issues with the Doctors after that!) Thankfully, the wonderful midwives we’re working with have made me feel all of the things I need to feel in order to meet Little Bit.
13. Plan ahead for Day Care. Like, really. Like, 3 years ahead. Which is what the wait list is for the “good” daycare in town. This was the second time I’ve cried during this pregnancy. I did a tour of one of the only facilities which had an opening for when we’d need care, and it was such a sad, dingy, unorganized facility I couldn’t stand it. My mother worked at a daycare for several years, and I visited and helped with Relay for Life activities there. It was bright and clean with a great playground and good structured classes with wonderful teachers and that’s what I want for Little Bit if I can’t stay home with her. We’ve found a place that isn’t the nicest facility I’ve ever seen, but they’ve tried to make it nice. The teachers seem wonderful, and they have a good curriculum in place so I feel comfortable with her going there.
14. People are so excited and concerned for you! If I’ve been asked if I’m ok once, I’ve been asked if I’m ok a thousand times. People are so sweet and considerate. Nearly every time I get up, someone asks if I’m ok or there’s something they can get/do for me (especially now that my walk is turning into more of a waddle.)
15. It’s been crazy, but a good journey, and I can’t wait to see where the next league takes us!