My Mother, the Mobster

Mama likes to keep to herself and doesn’t want any Internet presence. She stays off Facebook and just last year updated to a Gmail address from her old school Juno account. So I had to ask her permission to share this story with you.

Ever have one of those days when you’re just tongue-tied? You think one thing but say another, and it comes out twisted?

Well, recently my parents and I were up in PA to run some errands and visit with my grandmother. Daddy wanted to swing by this antique shop we had stopped at in December to see if they still had a wrought iron chandelier he had passed up. Their plan is to use it at my brother’s wedding and then again at mine before finally hanging it in their “outdoor living space.”

We stopped at the store, and the chandelier was still sitting out front, but the store looked like it had gone out of business.

After doing some Internet research, we found a number associated with the store and my mother called them. The call went straight to voicemail so she left a message: “Hello. We were in your store in December and saw a chandelier which we were interested in and saw today that it is still there. We live nearly two hours away and are in town for a short while today and would like to purchase it from you. Could you please give us a call on this number to discuss if you want to get rid of us?

Not – “if you want to get rid of it” but “get rid of us” – nothing mildly frightening or cryptic about that sentence. Daddy and I asked her if she realized what she had said, and she swore she said “it.” We laughed so hard about that, just imagining this antique dealer getting this bizarre threatening message about a chandelier.

Thankfully, she got the message’s  meaning, and they were able to arrange a meeting to get the chandelier on a different trip.

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